There must be something more
Everyone's heard the phrase, "You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone," but the same applies in reverse: you don't know what's been missing, until you find it. When you've been conditioned to accept isolation and neglect as the status quo, it's a revelation to discover that something more might be possible.
Soon after deciding on this song as the perfect fit for Chapter 4, I ran across an article where Amy Lee, Evanescence's frontwoman, explained where the song's inspiration came from:
"I wrote it about my current husband before we were married," Lee tells Sonic Seducer. “There was this moment, I was in a tough place and in a bad relationship, and my husband now, Josh, at the time was just a friend and a person that I barely knew. It was maybe the third or fourth time we'd ever met and we went in to go grab a seat at a restaurant while our friends parked the car. We sat across from each other, and he looked at me and he just said, 'So, are you happy?’”
She continues, “And it took me so off guard, and I just felt like it pierced my heart, because I felt like I had been pretending really well, and it was, like, somebody could see through me. And then that whole first verse came out of it — 'How can you see into my eyes, like open doors.' It really made me feel and recognize the sense of yearning that I had to get to a better place and it really kind of set me out on a journey."
Similar to Amy Lee encountering that unexpected question from her future husband, Autumn's having met John is a catalyst for setting her on her own path of self-discovery. Falling in love, as it turns out, is not all sunshine and rainbows when the majority of your significant relationships has taught you that emotional vulnerability rarely ends well.
Autumn wants to believe that John is worth taking a risk on, but is he? If she takes that leap of faith, what will it mean for her if he's not who she thinks (hopes) he is? Scarier still, what will it mean if he's everything she ever wanted, but she doesn't live up to who he think she is?
Is it really better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all?
There's only one way to find out.
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